New Management, New Stress | Nervous System Awareness for Women Leaders

Introduction

0:24 SPEAKER_00: Hi, and welcome to Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW.

0:30 SPEAKER_00: I'm Cheryl, and today I want you to think about what it's like when you can walk into the same workplace, sit at the same desk, answer the same emails, and then somehow it feels as though the weather has changed.

0:51 SPEAKER_00: Nobody has announced danger.

0:55 SPEAKER_00: There may be no dramatic incident, no villainous music playing in the background, no manager stroking a white cat on the laptop corner, but your body knows something feels different.

1:11 SPEAKER_00: Your stomach is doing nitty work, your shoulders have moved into your ribs, and they're applying for a permanent residency up there.

1:24 SPEAKER_00: And if new management has arrived or the team has changed or the tone has shifted, that discomfort matters.

1:34 SPEAKER_00: Not because every change is harmful, not because every manager is some sort of pantomime villain, but because your nervous system often notices that the climate has changed, the workplace climate has changed before your flight brain has found the words to articulate this.

2:00 SPEAKER_00: So this is the first part in a three-part mini series around seasons.

1. Introducing the miniseries on seasons in the workplace

2:07 SPEAKER_00: You know, when I was when I was thinking about doing this, I talked about life for seasons, winter, spring, summer, autumn.

2:17 SPEAKER_00: But we're going to bring that idea into work stress and work anxiety because workplaces have seasons too, and new management can change the season very, very quickly.

2:33 SPEAKER_00: I wanted to make this series because I recently heard from one of my clients about someone who felt compelled to leave their job after new management came in.

2:43 SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to take sides in the situation here because I think that would be wildly unfair and frankly that's not what I'm here to do.

2:54 SPEAKER_00: But what if it did make what it did make me think about is how quickly people can start doubting themselves when the emotional climate changes around them.

3:10 SPEAKER_00: Someone may be pleasant enough to your face, then they may say the right thing, they may use the right words, you know, like supportive, open door, teen culture, and all the usual phrases that sound lovely until the rest of life tests them.

3:30 SPEAKER_00: And still your body may be saying, I don't feel safe here.

3:35 SPEAKER_00: That doesn't automatically mean the other person is bad, because I don't actually like that word bad, but it does mean that there is new information there to notice.

3:46 SPEAKER_00: And a lot of high-functioning women like yourself and other people that you may know are very good at doing something that's not really in their best interest.

3:59 SPEAKER_00: They're really good at overriding that instinctive information.

4:03 SPEAKER_00: You know, we tell ourselves we're overreacting.

4:07 SPEAKER_00: We get we give people the benefit of the doubt until there is barely enough doubt left to benefit us.

4:15 SPEAKER_00: We explain away tone and pressure, shifting expectations, sudden criticism, and that horrible sense of being watched or managed rather than supported.

4:28 SPEAKER_00: And because we're very capable, we often keep functioning, we reply to the emails, we turn up to meetings and lead the team, we smile in the kitchen, we do the work, and then later on, in the car park or in the loo, our system finally admits the truth.

4:50 SPEAKER_00: Something is not landing quite right here.

4:54 SPEAKER_00: Now, that doesn't mean that you're weak, it just means that your nervous system is trying to make sense of the new environment.

5:04 SPEAKER_00: And west what to me, work stress is not only about workload, it can also come from the unclear expectations, reduced control, maybe core support, and even strange relationships, those are not random feelings, they sit very neatly inside the HSE management standards, demand control, support relationships, role and change.

Understanding work stress and its relation to workplace changes

5:42 SPEAKER_00: So if suddenly at work it feels different after a management change, start there, not with I'm being silly, but with start with what has changed.

6:00 SPEAKER_00: Now to me, this is where reality first kicks in, right?

1. Reality kicks in: Distinguishing between being nice and being safe

6:06 SPEAKER_00: Nice is not the same as safe.

6:09 SPEAKER_00: A person, you know it, there's I'm sure there's people in your life, right?

6:14 SPEAKER_00: A person can be charming and still create pressure, a person can smile and still withhold support, a manager can speak softly and still shift your role, reduce your control, and make the fur make your workplace feel unpredictable.

6:38 SPEAKER_00: And of course, the opposite is also true.

6:41 SPEAKER_00: True someone can be awkward, blunt, not so cuddly, and still be fair, clear, and supportive.

6:51 SPEAKER_00: This is why we do not judge by personality alone, we judge by patterns, patterns that is where calm first matters because you decide what it all means in the body, in your body.

Taking action: Giving yourself a signal and assessing changes

7:15 SPEAKER_00: So nothing dramatic here, no need to become a scented candle here.

7:22 SPEAKER_00: Just give yourself, give your system one small signal that you are here now, watching very clearly.

7:36 SPEAKER_00: That's all you need to do.

7:40 SPEAKER_00: Take five minutes and write down six headings demands, control, support, relationships, role, change, and under each one, write one plain sentence.

7:55 SPEAKER_00: For example, demands.

7:57 SPEAKER_00: My workload feels less predictable.

8:01 SPEAKER_00: Control.

8:02 SPEAKER_00: I have less say of how I get my team to work.

8:06 SPEAKER_00: Support.

8:07 SPEAKER_00: I don't know who I can go to safely.

8:11 SPEAKER_00: Relationships.

8:12 SPEAKER_00: The tone of many of our meetings feels colder.

8:17 SPEAKER_00: Roll.

8:18 SPEAKER_00: I am being asked to do things that were not part of my job before.

8:23 SPEAKER_00: Change.

8:24 SPEAKER_00: Decisions are being made without clear expectation.

8:30 SPEAKER_00: That is not a formal grievance.

8:33 SPEAKER_00: That's not legal advice.

8:35 SPEAKER_00: That's not a courtroom drama.

8:37 SPEAKER_00: It's just information.

8:41 SPEAKER_00: Remember relief versus restoration?

8:45 SPEAKER_00: Relief is the moment you tell yourself maybe it will all be fine, and you push it away for another day.

8:53 SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that is understandable.

8:55 SPEAKER_00: We all need a break from thinking sometimes.

8:59 SPEAKER_00: Restoration is completely different.

9:02 SPEAKER_00: Restoration is when you calm your system and collect enough reality to make wise choices.

9:13 SPEAKER_00: You do not have to solve the whole thing today, but you do need to stop making yourself the problem because you have looked at the environment.

9:26 SPEAKER_00: So, what would I like you to take away from this?

Key takeaways: Starting with calm and naming changes

9:29 SPEAKER_00: When management changes the weather at work, your body may notice before your brain it can actually have an explanation.

9:39 SPEAKER_00: So start with calm, then name what has changed.

9:45 SPEAKER_00: This is how you move from a self-doubt into useful clarity.

9:54 SPEAKER_00: Now, if this episode has helped you feel a little less steadier in terms of work stress, please follow the podcast.

10:04 SPEAKER_00: This has been work stress anxiety by ABGW.

10:08 SPEAKER_00: I'm Cheryl, and remember calm first, reality first, and change.

10:14 SPEAKER_00: Because every step you take, no matter how small, is a step towards a brighter, more balanced future.

10:22 SPEAKER_00: And remember, progress is progress, no matter the pace.

10:28 SPEAKER_00: Okay, but for now,