How Your Subconscious Turns Work Stress Into Habit

Welcome And What We Explore

0:20 SPEAKER_00: Hi and welcome to Work Stress Anxiety. I'm Cheryl Parrott and today I'm talking with uh deep Cherry. What's so interesting is in this conversation we're looking at what happens when stress has been sitting in the background for so long that it starts to feel normal. You may be getting through your day, you may be not doing it emails, you may be still working with your team. Well, underneath your body and mind are quietly waving a little white flag, hoping that you might notice. And it's so interesting because people like and I talk about awareness, repeated stress pattern, and how one small pause can begin to change the way that you respond.

1:07 SPEAKER_00: So let's get started. Hello everyone, and welcome to work stress anxiety. I'm Cheryl Paris, your host. If this is your first time here, welcome. If not, welcome again to. And guess what? I have a guest with me this afternoon. My guest today is Deepak. Welcome, Deepak.

1:28 SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me on your show, Cheryl.

1:30 SPEAKER_00: Excellent.

When Stress Becomes The Baseline

1:31 SPEAKER_00: So, what we're gonna talk about first, Deepak, is why work-related stress and stress in general generally becomes the norm for people. And what I'm particularly interested in is what your lived experiences of stress, but not only what you've seen as well with the people that you've worked with. So, how can I put it when I think of it? I think about when someone is stressed and they've been stressed for a long time, it's almost like it's become the norm. What do you think they're usually stopped noticing?

2:11 SPEAKER_00: First of all.

2:13 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it becomes a behavior that your subconscious responds to in a normal fashion. Because if we think of our two minds, in case your listeners and viewers are not aware of this, we have a subconscious mind and a conscious mind. So if 95 to 99% of our mind is subconscious, from what I've determined from my analysis and study, and the remaining 1% is our conscious mind, it dominates everything. It holds every memory, thought, feeling, emotion, smell, taste, and touch in every quadrillion, which is fraction of a second, since the time we're born.

2:49 SPEAKER_01: It also holds the emotional experiences since the time we were born that we may not be aware of, and limiting beliefs as well. The conscious mind, the remaining one to five percent, it does our to-do lists, our goals, our dreams, things like that. But if we said, if we're in a situation, let's say social anxiety, we're in a group of unfamiliar people, and we say, I'm gonna speak confidently this time when I go into the group, and then suddenly we freeze up. We can hardly breathe and have it, you start choking and coughing.

3:18 SPEAKER_01: And you say, Well, I said I was gonna be confident, what happened? The subconscious basically said, like two people hand wrestling, I'm confident, I'm strong. Subconscious says, No, no, you're not. You never were, you never will be. You have no word, no one cares about you. What you say doesn't matter. Strong muscular person, maybe skinny person, who do you think will probably win? Yeah? A trained fighter versus someone who's never fought in their life. That's what happens with their subconscious mind.

3:43 SPEAKER_01: And it repeats this pattern over and over again until it becomes a learned behavior, a learned response. It feels, shall we say, Cheryl, comfortable, but is it the best for us? Answer is no. So we tend to do what's comfortable, but it's not always for the best. That's where this learned response comes from. It always, and I can say this very definitively based on my research, doing this work for 20 years and the research I did before, it always comes from your childhood, especially from the age of zero to seven up to age 12, no exception.

Subconscious Patterns That Override You

4:15 SPEAKER_01: These trigger patterns.

4:16 SPEAKER_00: Okay. And I'm sure you do. I work with a lot of high-functioning people who often say, you know, when you ask them how they are, they the first thing they say is, oh, I'm fine, you know. Um and I've noticed that sometimes it's not congruent. The words are not congruent with how their their body is presenting or what they're saying, they might be saying they might be experiencing sleep loss or they're irritable. And what do you think we become so good at overriding ourselves?

4:58 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're trying to compensate for that subconscious trigger that I just talked about earlier. So I have found that there are four phases that create this to begin with. And through my own challenging emotional experience of being bullied since I was a kid, all the way to adulthood. Uh, and I discovered this on my own and created a system which can actually clear these patterns. But these are patterns we acquired as a kid. So, for example, in my case, I was bullied as a kid, pushed around. I had no self-esteem, no self-worth.

5:28 SPEAKER_01: I didn't believe in myself. I thought I'm not good enough, other people are better than me. So that became my behavior. So even if I said, I'm confident, I can speak confidently in this meeting, my subconscious, the 95 to 95% I talked about, will just slam Duncan and say, no, you're not. You're not worthy. No one cares what you say. You what you say doesn't have any importance. Let them take over. You're not worthy of any attention from them. Yeah, it does say all that because of our imprinting, in my case, from a subconscious from my childhood.

5:56 SPEAKER_01: So it doesn't matter how confident or how I speak. There's going to be, as you said, an incongruency. Facial expressions, body may be slightly humping. Oh, I'm fine, as you said, you know. But but you'll see it in their posture, their voice tone, their tonality, and I listen to voice, by the way, with this advanced voice biofeedback technology. And and you'll know, like, wait a minute, the 95 to 99%, since they're not everything they're saying, they're not fine. I've heard that commonly too.

6:23 SPEAKER_00: So just so that um anyone listening to the podcast understands, I know what you mean when you say the word limiting beliefs. Okay, but just in case anyone is not aware what we mean when we talk about limiting lit beliefs, can you do a sort of brief explanation of what a limiting belief is?

6:45 SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's a great question. So a limiting belief is a belief that essentially if we go to the central theme of that that I've seen over the years, basically you're not good enough. You're not worthy. You're not worthy of love from getting from love from others or even being loved to begin with. Um, if you had a and this all comes from childhood, okay? And there I could talk about the four phases if you like of how we get these patterns to begin with. But if your parents told you at a young age, oh gosh, you're so slow.

Why High Performers Say Fine

7:17 SPEAKER_01: Gosh, why couldn't you be smarter or why couldn't you be more intelligent like these other kids over here? Why couldn't you be more talented? Look at this all-rounder kid across the street. Do you have even one talent? I guess you didn't get the family trade, huh? What do you think the message to the kid is? Oh, I'm not good enough. Everybody else is better than me. So I guess I should be like everybody else to be accepted. So that becomes your belief system. So therefore, no matter how many affirmations or whatever you say, you're gonna not believe that.

7:43 SPEAKER_01: So limiting belief is when you question your own self, uh, like basically in negative words, negative thoughts. And so I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I don't deserve happiness, I don't deserve success, I don't deserve to be loved. You may want love or your success, but if you don't deserve it in your subconscious, which is running, you know, 95 to 99% of the equation, who do you think is going to win that argument? And that, and if you do this over and over again, again from childhood, because from 0 to 12, you're in an alpha theta meditative state.

8:14 SPEAKER_01: You don't question anything. So if someone tells you you're no good, you're not worthy, they don't even know how to give you love, and they say you don't deserve love, you think that that's that's who you are. You're not worthy of anything. So that becomes your limiting belief or beliefs in this case, low self-esteem, low self-worth, low self-confidence, not believing in yourself, always in fear, always in overwhelm. Oh my God, I gotta be like this. Oh my god, I gotta be like this, you know. If you were brought up in a, for example, Cheryl, in a loving, nurturing environment, and many of the clients I have were unfortunately weren't, but if you were, your immune system would be strong.

8:49 SPEAKER_01: You'd believe in yourself. You say, I deserve success, I deserve to be loved, I deserve everything. And everything will seem to go smoothly for them. Because that was their grounding from zero to seven up to age 12. But if it was a scary childhood, oh my God, I don't even want to go home. I'm walking on eggshells, mom and dad may snap at me at any moment, and I just want to run away from home. Well, that's not that's a fight-flight response, meaning that I just want to survive, not thrive, meaning that most likely, and those people I've worked with have every health condition, negative health condition imaginable, and every negative belief possible.

9:26 SPEAKER_01: Because it the emotions lead to the physical conditions. So that's what I have found over and over again. So it's all based on your upbringing, where it came from, these limiting beliefs. I hope that helped explain it.

9:38 SPEAKER_00: Thank you. And it's really interesting that you talk about limiting beliefs, because obviously it's something that we both help our clients overcome. I like to reframe limiting beliefs as uh perceptions that people have because they're not true. They're not true, and it's interesting what you said about how, like you say, we have what most people think of our conscious mind, and then we have our unconscience. And I mean, most people already probably know that you know we only use a very limited amount of our brain capacity um doing things, and the rest is this concept of the unconscious mind.

10:23 SPEAKER_00: So and like you say, it pretty much runs the show. Our unconscious minds. I like to give people really simple examples of what our unconscious is doing, you know, all the time with like we're sitting here talking, it's taking care of our breathing, it's making sure our heart is going, it's keeping our digestion going, it's making sure that my muscles are working, so my muscles are pushing up against from the chair, so that I'm sit I can sit sit up.

Limiting Beliefs Explained Simply

10:54 SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, it's I always find it really fascinating whenever I speak to anyone and we talk about how our mind works and so-called limiting beliefs, as I call them, perceptions that have been limiting someone until until now. You know, one of the things that I've noticed, and you've probably noticed as well, is that stress often, you know, I say to people, it it's not usually one event, it doesn't go bam, and then you know that you're you're you know you're in chronic stress. It's usually a gradual process, isn't it?

11:32 SPEAKER_00: It's it's day by day, week by week. And I find, and I don't know if you've noticed that people often blame themselves um or think then they're not handling life in the way that they should. So I'm just curious to know how do you think they are blaming themselves for something that's not actually their fault?

11:58 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, again, that goes back to the programming, subconscious programming that happens when we're a kid. May I briefly go over some of those four phases? Because I think this will clarify a lot of the answers to those questions you have. Okay. So in the first phase, and this has been this is what exactly happens in the quantum world energetically, when your parents decide to procreate a child, and I mean I know I'm being very direct here, but this is how it works in quantum science. I have found that a certain percentage of their unresolved emotions from each parent download into the energy field of this new child, which is us being created.

12:34 SPEAKER_01: So if the father was angry, frustrated, unhappiness relationship, unhappiness life, a certain per and and anxious also, you know, I'm not stressed, everything's fine, but they are. A certain percentage of that unresolved emotion gets downloaded into the energy field of this new child being formed, which is us. Same with mom. If mom was not so happy with your dad or soon-to-be dad, and she's not unhappy in her life, happy in her life, maybe she didn't want to get pregnant yet. She wanted to jet set around the world or be a model or something, and now she's like, now I'm stuck doing with this kid.

13:06 SPEAKER_01: When do you think the message of the kid is, I should have never been born? And that certain percentage of that unresolved emotion gets downloaded. But I also found out, Cheryl, that a certain percentage of the unresolved emotions of all the grandparents, didn't matter if they died before you were born or not, gets downloaded to your energy field as well.

The Four Phases Of Imprinting

13:25 SPEAKER_01: And with my quantum science that I use, I can actually measure that. So this is in phase one. So you have all the unresolved emotions of all these people, otherwise on a clean hard drive going into the energy field of us. Then phase two, you're in your mom's womb for nine months incubating all the nutrients from your mom. That's great. But also every limiting emotion, as you talked about earlier, or any emotions that your mom is having. If she's happy, great, but a lot of times she's nervous or worried or anxious or upset.

13:52 SPEAKER_01: Maybe she's fighting with your dad a lot while you're inside being formed. Well, guess what? Do you think you're gonna pick up on that? Directly. Directly from your absolutely. Frustration, fears, phobias, whatever. So that's phase two. Now, phase three is when you're born into the world. You already had all those two phases in your life. Now you have the direct interface that I talked about earlier of the parents telling you things. Don't be like this, be like her, be like that. Oh, why aren't you smart enough?

14:17 SPEAKER_01: Why couldn't you have done better? You know, what, you know, you should do better next time. Or, you know, basically the message to the kid is I'm not good enough who I am, I have to be somebody else, or it's never good enough. That creates that pressure, as you said, that stress, that anxiety later on in life. I have to keep doing more, I have to keep doing more, it's not enough, it's not enough. Doesn't matter how many degrees you have, how many levels of achievement you have, inside it's never good enough.

14:41 SPEAKER_01: That's the message to the kid. That's phase three, okay? Then there's phase four, okay? And it's not only our parents, it's you people older than us, teachers, uh, uncles, aunts, grant could be grandparents, even during that time, who tell us all these different things that we imprint. Okay. And then phase four is when you duplicate all those three phases into your own life, you basically are doing the same pattern that your parents and grandparents did, even if it's hundreds of years of this pattern, and you then you project that pattern into your kids' lives.

15:12 SPEAKER_01: And then they do the same thing. So that's why when I created what I call my life transformation technology program, I wanted to create something that will help, like a rocket ship, lift us out of that repeating pattern that keeps happening over hundreds of years, take us to a new level, a new perception, as you stated earlier, of how we see the world, how we react to the world, how we respond to the world in a positive way. So we naturally are drawing positive experiences to our life, positive emotions, having better decisions, which always, I can tell you, leads to better results.

15:43 SPEAKER_01: And it's a spiral up versus the spiral down that everyone is familiar with.

15:47 SPEAKER_00: You know, one of the things that I've noticed is there might be someone listening today now, okay, and they're listening and they'd think to themselves, I don't even know how stressed I am anymore. What would do you think would be a gentle way for them to begin checking in with themselves without turning it into some sort of inquisition?

16:14 SPEAKER_01: The first step I would say is awareness.

Awareness And Tracing Stress Back

16:17 SPEAKER_01: And what I mean by that is if they say, and I ask audiences all the time, you know, how many of you are stressed? A few paltry number of hands go up, a couple, two or three, you know, let's say in a large group of people. Okay, how many of you have ever felt anxious? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, all these hands come up. Well, I thought it's the same word, isn't it? Stress. Let's say anxiety is the same as stress, right? Well, their perception of that word is different. How many of you are worried about the future?

16:44 SPEAKER_01: Boom, boom, boom. Different hands come up. The hand the hands that didn't come up when I asked about stress or anxiety. So everyone has a different perception of what stress is, and so they won't directly answer the question. So, oh, I'm not stressed. Are you anxious? Oh yeah, I'm not stressed or anxious. Are you scared? Oh yeah, I'm scared what's gonna happen tomorrow. It's all the same thing in different words, right? So it's how we internalize the world, how we how we take things in. I've worked with Cheryl with identical twins, right?

17:10 SPEAKER_01: You would think like, oh, if I it's gonna be the exact same patterns in both. No, remember I talked about the downloads, those four phases. Now, what happens if you have siblings, even if they're twins, a certain percentage of unresolved issues of the parents, grandparents, mom, upbringing, that I talked about those four phases, gets different download, gets downloaded different kids. Maybe one kid got the heavy download of the dad, maybe other kid got the download of the father's father, and he was a very angry or frustrated or depressed person.

17:38 SPEAKER_01: So they'll have different downloads. So they'll have completely different lives, even though they're identical twins. They may dress the same and look the same, but outside from that, that's the only difference. Because I've worked with different identical twins and I've seen that. One really excels, the other one goes downhill. What happened? That's the reason. It's how the download they happen and how they perceive the world. Maybe they're more sensitive than the other kid, and their perception of themselves is even less, so then it takes them downhill.

18:05 SPEAKER_01: So, but when you shift that perception, that is how you see the world, how you perceive the world, how you react to the world, like what you talked about earlier, that is a spiral that changes everything. So the first step is awareness. What am I feeling right now? Oh, I'm breathing faster. Oh, my heart rate is faster. Oh, now this is another thing your people can think about. I'm breathing faster. Okay. When was the last time I felt like this? In other words, this person said horrible mean things to me.

18:33 SPEAKER_01: Horrible. They're a terrible person. Yeah, they probably are. But when was the last time I felt like this? Oh, last time I felt like this was five years ago when my boss basically told me I wasn't worried good enough or I needed to, he was going to replace me. Well, then you can ask, okay, when was the last time you felt that feeling that you felt with your boss? Oh, well, that was when a few years ago when my girlfriend broke up before that. Now, if you follow it all the way back, Cheryl, it'll take you ultimately back to your childhood of zero to twelve, because that's always where it starts.

19:05 SPEAKER_01: So again, the first step is awareness. Observe your breathing, observe your posture, observe how you know everything about your body. And that will take your focus inward versus externally. And that's the first step, is what I feel, awareness.

19:20 SPEAKER_00: Which is quite conveniently the first step in my program as well, awareness. I spend a lot of time working with people in awareness.

How To Connect And Final Takeaway

19:29 SPEAKER_00: Deep, what's the best way that people can find out more about you?

19:33 SPEAKER_01: Absolutely. I offer a complimentary 15-minute consult with me, no obligation, where when when you sign up with me for a complimentary consult, I can listen to your heartfelt story of the challenges you're going through and all the challenges you went through and the upset you're feeling. And I will propose and customize a plan specifically for you of how I can take you from that challenging place you're in to the place of freedom, joy, happiness, and peace that you never imagined you could get to.

20:02 SPEAKER_01: So to do that, they can go to my website, which is fastanxietyhelp.com, F-A-S-T, A-N-X-I-E-T-Y, help H E L P dot com. And if you go to that website, you can read about my work, but most importantly, sign up for a complimentary consult with me. Again, no obligations. We do it through Zoom or phone, whichever you like. And you can check out the testimonials too. You'll see how so many people have benefited, and you may be able to connect with them as well. That's what I recommend.

20:33 SPEAKER_00: I want to thank you, DPAP, for spending some time with me talking about work stress and how it affects loads and loads of people. So thank you very much, DPAC.

20:44 SPEAKER_01: It's my pleasure, Cheryl.

20:46 SPEAKER_00: You know, the biggest takeaway from today's episode is that there is nothing wrong with you because you notice the same stress patterns repeating. That does not mean you ignore them, it just means stop using them as evidence that you're failing. I want to thank you, Deep Hack Toro, for joining me today. All of Deep Hack's links are available in the show notes. And if this episode was useful in any way, please follow the podcast so you don't miss any of the next conversations at follow thepodcast.com forward slash work strength anxiety.

21:25 SPEAKER_00: Just want to say bye for now.