How Leaders Use Play To Cut Stress | Nervous System Reset

Why Play Belongs At Work

0:26 SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Worse Stress Anxiety.

0:30 SPEAKER_01: I'm Cheryl Parris.

0:31 SPEAKER_01: I'm just curious to know what if improving productivity didn't start with another routine or another policy or even another performance target.

0:43 SPEAKER_01: What if it started with a C 18?

0:47 SPEAKER_01: A workplace where people felt safe, safe enough to play.

0:55 SPEAKER_01: Hi everyone, I'm Cheryl and welcome to Work Stress and Anxiety.

1:02 SPEAKER_01: This is my guest today, Xander.

1:04 SPEAKER_01: Hi, how are you doing?

1:05 SPEAKER_00: Hi Cheryl, how are you doing today?

1:06 SPEAKER_00: I'm doing great, thank you.

1:07 SPEAKER_00: Yeah, enjoy.

1:09 SPEAKER_01: Excellent.

1:10 SPEAKER_01: So, what I was I was hoping to talk to you about, uh Xander, is we're in um the work environment, and I think that it is incumbent on leaders.

1:22 SPEAKER_01: I have this sort of saying, you may have heard it before, a fish rots from the head.

1:27 SPEAKER_01: So it's really important what leaders are doing in the workplace to encourage um ways to help reduce stress and anxiety.

Leaders Set The Stress Climate

1:37 SPEAKER_01: I think it's it's part of their job, even if even if it's not in their job description.

1:43 SPEAKER_01: And one of the to me, one of the most playful, one of the best things they can do is introduce play into that environment.

1:51 SPEAKER_01: So, with that in mind, what do you think uh is a really simple thing that maybe leaders can do maybe even once a week with their team to foster that environment of play?

2:05 SPEAKER_01: Because I'll tell you what I think is the most important thing.

2:09 SPEAKER_01: Most leaders want to make money and they want to get the best out of their staff, and to me, the best ways they can do that to increase that level of creativity is play.

2:20 SPEAKER_00: 100%.

2:21 SPEAKER_01: What do you think?

2:21 SPEAKER_00: 100%.

2:22 SPEAKER_00: That's that's the play equals productivity, as far as like being able to keep yourself creative.

2:27 SPEAKER_00: Um, you want to retain your people that you've trained to.

2:31 SPEAKER_00: So if you come to a workplace that has that that camaraderie, that feeling of hey, we're working we're in this together.

2:37 SPEAKER_00: Uh, it's not an us against them type thing, it's we're all working in this together.

2:41 SPEAKER_00: That's when you're gonna build the teamship that the and that's what leaders need to do.

2:45 SPEAKER_00: That's their role is to build that team uh that they can trust each other, that work with each other.

2:52 SPEAKER_00: So by incorporating play into your model, you're doing something that that everyone can relate to as a good thing.

2:59 SPEAKER_00: That nobody people associate play with a negative thing only because they're training.

3:04 SPEAKER_00: But if you actually think to what play is, they're like, oh, play means something fun.

3:08 SPEAKER_00: It means something that you're doing is good, it's not a negative connotation, and it's it's not the antithesis to a work environment.

3:16 SPEAKER_00: It's actually needs to be built into it to see the total the ROI on that return on investment is off the charts.

3:24 SPEAKER_00: So things that leaders can do is foster that type of creativity, get their people to actually come up with ways that they want to play in the work environment and see which ones you can make a game even out of that, you know what I mean?

3:37 SPEAKER_00: Incorporate them into like a whiteboard game, like, hey you guys, we're we're gonna just have something playful around here.

3:43 SPEAKER_00: Well, would you guys think if I did this?

3:44 SPEAKER_00: And they you know, scrum up a piece of paper and throw them at each other.

3:47 SPEAKER_00: Would you be offended by that?

3:48 SPEAKER_00: Or would you have fun with that?

3:49 SPEAKER_00: See if people can get, you know, let's once a day have a type of activity where we do it, or even every hour incorporates something that's a little bit playful that doesn't take much time, but it resets everybody and it gives them something to look forward to the next hour.

4:04 SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, you know, Tony this week is gonna think about he he wants to do this, this what play activity is gonna work with Cheryl over here to make sure that she that goes good.

4:12 SPEAKER_00: What you know, and we got like other people involved in this play process, so everyone feels like that they're a part of it, and they're building their team camaraderie together.

4:20 SPEAKER_00: That's that's the main thing.

4:22 SPEAKER_01: Cool.

4:23 SPEAKER_01: Like I said, for for me, I I just I love music, I love uh goofing around.

4:31 SPEAKER_01: I um most people think I'm a quite serious person.

4:35 SPEAKER_01: I think most people when they meet me they think but no, I am not a serious person at all.

4:42 SPEAKER_01: Um and it and I think um one of the one of the reasons I mean, don't get me wrong, I take my work seriously.

When Lightness Meets Resistance

4:49 SPEAKER_01: I'm a work stress, I take that very seriously, and I sit um and I I hope that I provide value for all my clients and help them to grow into more of the person they want to be.

5:03 SPEAKER_01: But when I'm not at work, I'm interested in always having a good time.

5:07 SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter where it is, whether it's on public transport, in my car, um out and about, walking around.

5:15 SPEAKER_01: But one of the things that I find people um sometimes get offended when you are the person who is trying to lighten the load of everybody else, wherever wherever it is, but especially in the work environment, because I know people are under so or they perceive they're under so much pressure to be something that oftentimes they're not really.

5:43 SPEAKER_01: They've they've got this persona that they have, but um, I'm hoping we can do what maybe you can suggest something that will help those people lighten their load a little bit, something they can do maybe on their own or in the small groups, um, hopefully with the the permission of leaders and managers in the workplace, will foster that kind of environment where they can be themselves, but also ultimately be more creative for that for that company.

6:15 SPEAKER_00: I I got I I hear you on that.

6:17 SPEAKER_00: And it was so funny because even when you were mentioned that I was meant, I was thinking of another little fun thing as like a dance, you know, a minute dance party where somebody blasts us some fun music and everyone has to get out of their chairs and just move around and do something goofy.

6:28 SPEAKER_00: You know, doing something like that would trigger that that that fun response.

6:32 SPEAKER_00: But in regards to your question, unfortunately, um our workplace has been has been reinforcing that rigid control and that people who who can who get offended by things have the power to to go after people who offend them versus being able to really just flow with things a lot more.

Reset Rituals Like Dance Breaks

6:53 SPEAKER_00: And it's a whole mindset.

6:55 SPEAKER_00: Um the challenges if that to again it's it's gonna be a whole cultural thing because right now we we're responding to that in a way of like we we want to encourage that.

7:07 SPEAKER_00: We want to encourage people to to snitch on each other in a negative way.

7:11 SPEAKER_00: We want to uh you know encourage people to just be calm at work and not go not have fun because we associate that with negativity.

7:20 SPEAKER_00: The what's gonna have to happen is those cultures that are doing this, and there are a lot of big names that are like Google's heading this up, Zappos has fun things, the Lego does stuff like this, where they start showing how productive play can be, and that trickles into other companies who are like, maybe we should start exploring with this and turn it around to be like, let's let's encourage play.

7:44 SPEAKER_00: Because those people who are stuck in that negative mindset of like, you know, I've got to be this way at work, I've got to be rigid, I've got to be, it's gonna take a lot for them to overcome it.

7:54 SPEAKER_00: And you can't even suggest to them, hey, maybe you should play, you know.

7:58 SPEAKER_00: My my old song is play with thyself.

8:00 SPEAKER_00: Maybe you should play with yourself a little bit, you know what I mean?

8:02 SPEAKER_00: Just have fun.

8:03 SPEAKER_00: But literally, that's what they're gonna need to do.

8:05 SPEAKER_00: And unfortunately, until we have people who are who are being able to foster that environment in a workplace without getting retaliation against it, and that has to come from the leadership.

8:17 SPEAKER_00: That has to come from that leadership role of like we're gonna change the culture of our this environment to be a positive place where people can come to work and feel safe and explore their creativity through play because that's when you're most creative.

8:30 SPEAKER_00: That's your when you're in your playful state, that's when you're most creative, that's when you're bringing in new ideas and thinking outside the box.

8:36 SPEAKER_00: If you're locked into rigidity, you're gonna stay stuck in the same patterns and not gonna see the forest through the trees.

8:42 SPEAKER_00: It's very important to be able to activate that part of our brain.

8:45 SPEAKER_00: So those people who are stuck, it's challenging, especially with the with the culture that we currently have in a lot of work environments, unfortunately.

8:55 SPEAKER_01: Unfortunately, but hey, there's people like me in Uzander paving the way, paving the way indeed.

9:01 SPEAKER_01: Now, the the I've just the this just came to my mind, so I'm gonna I'm going to ask you.

9:07 SPEAKER_01: Now, I think it's in the film The Green Mile, I'm sure it's the Green Mile with Tom Hanks.

9:13 SPEAKER_01: He I think he's in the prison.

9:14 SPEAKER_01: Yep.

9:15 SPEAKER_01: And um he I think there's something about a library, they need um new books for the library, and he writes to the governor, and uh the governor says, write to you know the prison authorities, and he writes and the letters rejected, and and then he decides for some strange reason something that I would actually do, he just continues to write every week, I think, for a whole year or two years, and eventually they give in.

How To Pitch Play To Management

9:45 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.

9:46 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, now is there something?

9:50 SPEAKER_01: It just came to my head.

9:52 SPEAKER_01: Is there something that people can do, or or even I suppose words they could collectively say to management, you know, because that's what I would do.

10:02 SPEAKER_01: I'd get everybody in the office to send an email to management.

10:06 SPEAKER_01: But do you know what I'd want to pull it in a really constructive way?

10:09 SPEAKER_01: Hey management, we want to find new ways to play so that we can increase our creativity for you and ultimately increase your bottom line.

10:19 SPEAKER_01: What kind of words would you would you encourage people to to say to management?

10:26 SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, I mean, play equals increases productivity.

10:30 SPEAKER_00: I would I would use those words, and you can you can I mean you can Google search it now, and it's coming up with all that type of things about like you know, different companies that have incorporated this and what it does for your brain.

10:40 SPEAKER_00: You could talk about the neuroscience behind it.

10:43 SPEAKER_00: That there's a bunch of new information about how the brain relaxes in a playful state and what it does for us to create our to get our creativity going.

10:50 SPEAKER_00: So if you stick with language like that, profits equal productivity.

10:55 SPEAKER_00: So how do you stay productive?

10:57 SPEAKER_00: How do you how do you keep people from uh having burnout?

11:00 SPEAKER_00: How do you keep the brain you know in that in that state of like, okay, let's figure out solutions to these problems?

11:07 SPEAKER_00: You can you can demonstrate it really quickly.

11:09 SPEAKER_00: Like if you're trying to find your keys, you're saying, you're like, just oh, where are my freaking keys going?

11:13 SPEAKER_00: So I don't know where what's or that what's that person's name?

11:16 SPEAKER_00: I forget their name.

11:16 SPEAKER_00: As soon as you get your brain off of it, and you're thinking about something else, the answers come to you, right?

11:21 SPEAKER_00: So that's that's one of the things you can you can talk about being able to come up with solutions in if you're in a more creative and productive mode, is it's via play, it's via unlocking that that untapped resources in our brain, getting that cortisol level to plummet.

11:34 SPEAKER_00: Because once you're in that cortisol state and you're in that fight or flight mode, your body and your brain are in stress, and that's unhealthy.

11:42 SPEAKER_00: Uh, it also it the good people in your company don't want to be around that and they're gonna leave.

11:48 SPEAKER_00: You know, you're gonna retain the people who are bringing that negativity to your company.

11:51 SPEAKER_00: You want positive people because positivity breeds positivity.

11:55 SPEAKER_00: So by really focusing on those people who want to bring that forward, those are the people you want to have in those leadership roles.

12:02 SPEAKER_00: You want to have people who are who are thinking that that level, at that level of like, hey, let's keep this place pre playful, and that's gonna bring better returns, you know.

12:11 SPEAKER_00: Everything's gonna be better because of it.

12:13 SPEAKER_00: So that's what you want to encourage and foster in a work environment.

12:17 SPEAKER_00: So but by having people who join together, and if you have a group of people who are thinking that, and you guys bond together and you're the you're the playful people in the government, you can change that whole culture.

12:27 SPEAKER_00: You know, the the whole system is just is it starts off with that initial thought and then banding together.

12:34 SPEAKER_00: So yeah, that's what I would focus, but I would focus on I would focus on using words that are that you know you can find everything on.

12:42 SPEAKER_00: I mean, especially with chat now.

12:44 SPEAKER_00: You know, I if you just type in there, hey look, I want to write a letter about productivity and how it works for the brain and stuff like that, and how do we incorporate play?

12:50 SPEAKER_00: We'll go, you know, 50-page long report telling you to telling you the the brain benefits of just incorporating play into your work environment.

12:57 SPEAKER_00: It's insane.

12:59 SPEAKER_01: So cool, cool, yeah.

13:03 SPEAKER_01: Okay, now what I wanted to ask you was if this is okay, what would you give listeners?

13:10 SPEAKER_01: Um, if you if you if you if you could choose, yeah, ultimately, um, a simple daily prescription of play that would feel realistic for busy, tired, responsible adults.

Daily Play Tools For Adults

13:25 SPEAKER_01: A daily prescription.

13:28 SPEAKER_00: Responsible adults, I love that.

13:31 SPEAKER_00: Responsible adults, the main thing is keeping keeping your emotional state where it needs to be the most productive.

13:39 SPEAKER_00: So um a daily ritual I do uh is laugh at myself.

13:43 SPEAKER_00: Um that's one of the first things I do before I even get out of bed, is I do a special thing right, right?

13:47 SPEAKER_00: I trigger my brain to go into a laughter state almost instantly.

13:51 SPEAKER_00: Your brain doesn't recognize the difference between real laughter and fake laughter.

13:54 SPEAKER_00: So if you can start chuckling to yourself and get your brain rolling, you'll be laughing almost instantly with full body laughter.

14:01 SPEAKER_00: And that's what you're gonna do to instantly control uh your your brain chemicals that are being released, and you set your brain up for success the whole day because your your brain is already recognizing that laughter is a good thing, so more things are gonna make you laugh throughout the day.

14:16 SPEAKER_00: That's one thing that people can do, and throughout the day, find different ways to move, get your body flowing.

14:24 SPEAKER_00: Uh, simple thing to do is just do the old shakes, you know what I mean?

14:27 SPEAKER_00: Like stand up and bounce around a little bit, right?

14:29 SPEAKER_00: What's up, right?

14:31 SPEAKER_00: But like even doing slow bouncing where you're not bouncing high, you're just bouncing low, you're just getting you're getting that the the whole your whole lymphatic system moving, that's gonna help change up your chemistry as well.

14:42 SPEAKER_00: Get your your your brain is in a different state when you're in motion.

14:46 SPEAKER_00: So if you're sitting around all day, your brain gets stagnant as well.

14:49 SPEAKER_00: By simply moving around, you're getting that blood flow and getting that brain more active.

14:53 SPEAKER_00: That's simple things to do.

14:54 SPEAKER_00: Um, another one that I teach people to do is the is the is the horse lips, the right?

15:02 SPEAKER_00: So I get yeah.

15:04 SPEAKER_00: And the more the more relaxed you can get your lips, it takes a little bit of practice, but it's you know, right?

15:15 SPEAKER_00: But what I do is I try train people to do that in their bed.

15:19 SPEAKER_00: You know, I I I you know the whole the whole regimen is like depending on what level you're at, that get the get your laughter going, and then before you do your laughter, even just just to sit up before when you wake up, just go move around your head a little bit.

15:31 SPEAKER_00: Because you're you're training yourself to to associate that emotion with being relaxed and in your bed.

15:36 SPEAKER_00: It's a it's a muscle memory type of thing.

15:38 SPEAKER_00: Not only that, when you do that, it stimulates your vagus nerve, which calms you down.

15:42 SPEAKER_00: So by doing that a couple times in the bed, later on in the day, if you're ever in a stressful situation, you know, you things are going off, and you just go, Oh my gosh, what am I gonna do about this?

15:52 unknown: Right?

15:53 SPEAKER_00: All of a sudden your brain goes, I'm okay.

15:55 SPEAKER_00: I'm good.

15:56 SPEAKER_00: And that's where that's where you can get get the things that you need to go go ahead.

16:00 SPEAKER_00: So those would be some of my simple solutions I'd recommend people to do is just have something with you.

16:05 SPEAKER_00: And I always carry around my trigger, is this I always have these in my pocket and I'll I'll squeeze them around and move them around and just ah, you know, if I'm if that this is my stress, instant stress relief.

16:16 SPEAKER_00: I mean, even having this in my pocket is a is a reminder that I can always play.

16:21 SPEAKER_00: So I keep them with me all the time so I can juggle them around and and throw them and just have fun.

16:27 SPEAKER_01: Cool.

16:27 SPEAKER_01: Now, um, sorry, it just slipped out of my head, but it's it's coming back.

16:32 SPEAKER_01: I was gonna ask you if there is a fictional character or someone who's lived, you know, some real person alive or dead, who you think is the exampler of, you know, play.

16:49 SPEAKER_00: One of the first people come to mind is is Charlie Chaplin.

Role Models For Playful Living

16:52 SPEAKER_00: He always says, because he had he had a lot of negative things in his life, but he said you gotta work through them through play.

16:58 SPEAKER_00: That was his way of counterbalancing all the all the negative stuff that he he'd been through.

17:02 SPEAKER_00: So that that's a great example of it.

17:04 SPEAKER_00: Um and his when he has much joy as he brought to other people and laughter that he brought into the world, um, that was his release.

17:11 SPEAKER_00: So I I see that as somebody who's who's a great example of of being able to combat negativity via s via play and stress release.

17:20 SPEAKER_00: Um, I mean that that's the first one that came to my mind almost almost instantly.

17:25 SPEAKER_01: So but there's can you think of any can you think of I I I totally agree with you.

17:31 SPEAKER_01: Uh Charlie Chapman, all of his movies, hilarious, yeah, absolutely hilarious.

17:36 SPEAKER_01: Um, I know there's also a bio about him.

17:39 SPEAKER_01: I've not actually seen it, but um friends of mine have told me it it's amazing, and it explains, like you say, some of the challenges that he had through his life and how he used his performances to help him manage um stress and anxiety.

17:55 SPEAKER_01: But can you think of anyone?

17:57 SPEAKER_01: I I know it's hard in this modern world with so much um negativity being almost um praised and encouraged.

18:08 SPEAKER_01: But can you think of anyone who's alive who we could sort of um even nip bits of their personality um to help us create that kind of environment within ourselves of play?

18:21 SPEAKER_01: Apart from you, Zander.

18:24 SPEAKER_01: You know, you're a Z play coach, but I was thinking of any someone who's famous, someone who's you may you may have seen on the red carpet or in a baseball game or a a soccer game or or who you would think yes when they're out in public, that's the kind of person that people need to um be yeah.

18:51 SPEAKER_00: Okay, um, wow.

18:52 SPEAKER_00: As far as like okay, personality-wise, Keanu Reeves is someone I think about as just being being like a really good good person, like a good, a good individual.

19:03 SPEAKER_00: Playful-wise, Jim Carrey comes to mind just because of his goofiness and his outlandishness and the way to try to make the whole room you know laugh and stuff like that.

19:12 SPEAKER_00: Um, I I don't know either of them personally, so I I can't say for you know for for a whole thing of like I I mean I've heard from people who know Keanu that he's exactly that way.

19:23 SPEAKER_00: He is so super respectful, just a great person to emulate as far as if you want to be uh good with the world.

19:30 SPEAKER_00: Uh Jim Carrey, there's I've got mixed reviews sometimes, you know, but but just as far as what how he projects into the world and what what that goofiness is, and and not and being just able to be outlandish and not care what other people think.

19:45 SPEAKER_00: Don't don't worry about what other people think.

19:48 SPEAKER_00: Because they're that's their things.

19:50 SPEAKER_00: If they have negativity about it, that's on them.

19:52 SPEAKER_00: You're if you're if you're happy hearing, you're trying to make the world a better place and you get one smile, you've changed up that person's world, who changes up the thousand other people that they they talk with and they they touch with.

20:03 SPEAKER_00: So, you know, it's a chain reaction.

20:06 SPEAKER_00: But the more the more smiles you can project into the world, the more joy, the outrageous joy that you can project into the world, the more warm fuzzies you can bring into the world.

20:14 SPEAKER_00: That's contagious.

20:15 SPEAKER_00: And again, we're energetic beings.

20:18 SPEAKER_00: That vibrational shift that we go through, we transfer the whole universe.

20:22 SPEAKER_00: We're connected with all of it.

20:23 SPEAKER_00: So it it literally sends out vibrations that touch all of creation.

20:27 SPEAKER_00: So we are that powerful, and we've got to remember that and take control of that of our joy.

20:34 SPEAKER_00: And the lower vibrations are they're not worthy.

20:39 SPEAKER_00: They just bring they bring lower vibrational entities to us, which I you know I call that evil backwards, lower vibrational entities.

20:45 SPEAKER_00: But these that we don't want them, and that's not it's not worthy.

20:50 SPEAKER_00: Just keep yourself happy, keep yourself joyous, and the more you can bring that to the world, the more you more you can ground that into our creation, the better.

20:59 SPEAKER_01: Can you imagine a hybrid of Keanu Reeves and Jim Carrey?

21:03 SPEAKER_01: Can you imagine how hilarious it would be to be around them?

21:08 SPEAKER_01: I mean, even just thinking about it, I'm getting, you know, my stomach, you know, it's just it's just cracking up because you you you've just mentioned two people who I totally admire.

21:21 SPEAKER_01: And I just can't, I just imagine the two, you know, a blend of them.

21:26 SPEAKER_01: And I think that's you're right, that's something people can look up to, you know, in moments when they're you know, when they're feeling stressed, they can they can imagine uh those guys just having fun together, you know.

21:41 SPEAKER_01: So yeah, no, thank you so much, and I want to thank you, uh Zondra, for your time today and spending it with me and talking about play in such a way that ordinary people can understand that even though they work hard, they can play hard too.

Final Takeaways On Safe Creativity

22:02 SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's necessary.

22:03 SPEAKER_00: The more harder you work, the harder you need to play.

22:05 SPEAKER_00: It's just definitely great.

22:06 SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.

22:08 SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much for joining me, Sandra.

22:12 SPEAKER_01: It's been a pleasure, and um, bye for now.

22:15 SPEAKER_00: Bye for now.

22:16 SPEAKER_00: Blessings, alloy.

22:26 SPEAKER_01: You know, one of the most interesting things for me is that play isn't about taking work less seriously, it's about taking people's well-being more seriously.

22:39 SPEAKER_01: Because when I say it, when people feel psychologically safe, what are they?

22:46 SPEAKER_01: They're more creative, they're more resilient, and they're far more likely to enjoy the work they're doing.

22:53 SPEAKER_01: Don't you think so?

22:54 SPEAKER_01: Anyway, bye for now.