Work Stress and Work Anxiety: The Bedtime Work Anxiety Loop

Other People’s Problems Aren’t Yours

0:21 SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Work Stress Anxiety. I'm Cheryl Paris. Tier has said something during our last conversation that made us stop. Other adults' problems are not necessarily your problem. It sounds obvious that you think about how many women are carrying around, their jobs, children, parents, partner, the dogs, everyone else who's leaving, and probably someone missing the TV tip. Anyway, if you love the podcast, please consider leaving us a review or waiting at love thepodcast.com forward slash work stressanxiety.

Where To Start With Overwhelm

1:04 SPEAKER_02: Cool, let's get started with today's episode. Hello everyone, it's Cheryl Paris here. Welcome to Work Stress Anxiety. If you are new here, I want to say thank you and welcome. Guess what? I have a guest with me today. Thiara, welcome. How are you doing? Hi Cheryl, I'm doing great.

1:28 unknown: Okay.

1:29 SPEAKER_02: So, as you know from your own experience, there's no shortage of wellness advice online. And if someone is feeling overwhelmed, where would you suggest they begin without adding another impossible checklist to their life?

1:50 SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I think uh it's always good to start with your trusted provider. Um, if you are feeling overwhelmed and you have a lot of questions, that's what that's what they're there for. Um also, if you have people in your life that they're living a life that you think is good, you want to emulate, those might be good people to talk to and see what they're doing, how they're able to manage the different uh responsibilities they have and also maintain their lifestyle. I think I would say anyone that's trying to sell you something immediately as a quick fix, I would avoid.

2:32 SPEAKER_00: So if you go online, you've been feeling tired, you have questions about perimenopause, and the first thing is buy my program, buy this supplement, and everything will be better, those are probably red flags. So I would look at resources that are there to educate you first. And not that programs or supplements can't help you, but first let's understand what's happening, and then we can explore those other options.

Why So Many Women Feel Unprepared

2:56 SPEAKER_02: Now, I know that a lot of women, I myself included, I must admit, I was so shocked. I remember I was so shocked, even though at school we we were told, you know, that um that girls go through this thing, you know, and it means that you can have babies, and it's called commonly called periods, and you know, it's gonna happen. And I remember being completely and utterly shocked when I started my periods, and I was completely and utterly shocked when I my period stopped and my body was changing, and yeah, I I think it was because I just didn't want to be to actually think about getting old and getting older, if I'm honest.

3:40 SPEAKER_02: And I know that lots of people ignore um the symptoms that their their body is signalling, and sometimes for years because they want to keep going at work, you know, they've been they've worked so hard to get the into a position where they can get promotion and everything else. And I'm just interested in what you think, what's the best way someone can start rebuilding that relationship that's so crucial with themselves?

4:14 SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's a really good question. I think generationally too, um, a lot of us only learned about our bodies really from our moms or our grandmothers. And if they didn't have good education, right, that the menstrual cycle is more than just a period, that there's phases of the menstrual cycle, how our hormones are actually changed throughout our life. I wasn't taught that in school. Um, I think you go into these changes and you're like totally unprepared. Luckily, with social media, we do have women now talking about these things.

4:48 SPEAKER_00: You know, 10 years ago, I don't feel like anybody was talking about menopause, and now it's all over. So if you're somebody that is trying to figure out what do I need to do, where do I need to kind of assess where I'm at, I think trying to find um maybe groups, you know, menopause, specific groups of women, you know, on different social media platforms and communities might be a really good first step because then you kind of learn you're not the only one. It can feel very isolating when you don't, number one, you don't know what's going on, and that you're actually part of a larger community because this is every woman goes through some sort of change.

5:29 SPEAKER_00: So that's where I would probably start, and that will help you get that education.

5:33 SPEAKER_02: Cool.

Body Changes And Self Image

5:34 SPEAKER_02: And just going back to myself because I selfishly am interested in myself, one of the things that I noticed um um physically was that my ankles, um the shape of them, I used to have really tiny, I mean, you could literally fit my, you know, fingers round my ankles. That's how small they were. And I noticed that's one of the things that um changed. You know, they became sort of almost, oh, thick is not the right word, but just not as slender as they as as they used to be. I suppose what I'm trying to argue is the because I think it's really hard for women who are not entirely comfortable with the way that they look anyway, and then they start going through these changes.

6:27 SPEAKER_02: Is there any anything you can say towards that? Because like I said, I looked at my ankles and thought, oh, you know, I'm I'm I'm getting old, you know, and I don't want to get old, I don't want to start looking old, I don't want to, you know, I don't I don't feel old and I don't want to move towards that. So is there anything that you can think of um that's helpful when women are starting to notice that their bodies are changing?

7:00 SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think education is the most important part. If you go into it having no idea that these things can happen or that these are normal changes, or if they're not normal changes, right, because then maybe you need further um evaluation, right? Because there's a lot that happens with those changing levels of your hormones, it could affect fat distribution, body composition, fluid retention, uh blood sugar regulation. There's all these things that women experience. So I think first and foremost, learning about what happens in perimenopause.

7:34 SPEAKER_00: What the heck is perimenopause? What is menopause? Um, and even if you're not going through those life stages, what happens during pregnancy, what to expect postpartum? I mean, these are just things that I feel like we don't get enough education on as women. So once you actually understand what to look for and what to look out for, then you can put into place uh lifestyle practices that can help mitigate, maybe not eliminate, but kind of mitigate some of those changes. And if you need, again, further evaluation, that's when you might look at like supplementation or things like um HRT.

8:14 SPEAKER_02: Cool. And what I find really interesting is obviously when I was really young, I probably went to the doctor.

What To Ask Your GP

8:22 SPEAKER_02: But I remember there must have been a good 20 years where I didn't visit the doctor for anything, and now I find that I'm going to the doctors more and more and more as I get older. I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, but when you're when you're starting to get or feel that something is different, um, like you say, you need to educate yourself. What are the sort of things that you can ask your um your general practitioner, um, as we call it over here, your your your doctor? Practical questions that you can, you know, go in there and even if you don't know the answer to, then I'm not expecting you to know the answer, but really good questions that you should be asking your GP.

9:08 SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's obviously it will depend on what's going on with you and what what's happening. But I think it's really important to ask like, are the things that I'm experiencing quote unquote normal for this transition? Or are they are they not normal? And if they are quote unquote normal, is there anything I can do about it? I'm having hot flashes and I can't sleep and I'm having night sweats, I'm miserable. What are my options? What can I do? Telling me that I can I I have to live through this isn't acceptable.

9:41 SPEAKER_00: So figuring out like what is like mild and then what is actually gonna impact your life significantly, and then what could we can do to mitigate? But yeah, the main things again, it's gonna be symptom dependent and person dependent, but not accepting that you can't do anything, nothing that was a double negative there. Not accepting that you're not allowed to just do nothing. However, I'm trying to say that you have options and keep pressing for those options. Cool.

Small Habits With Big Payoff

10:16 SPEAKER_02: Um one of the things I really um encourage as part of the work that I do, it's it's on the wall behind me. That's my quotation. I really do believe that it's important to take steps, no matter how small they are. So what do you think are some of the small steps that people can do consistently that will make the biggest difference over time for women, especially who, like I said, who would I know what lots of people mean by high functioning, but when I mean high functioning, I mean the woman who goes to work, the woman who comes home and cooks, looks after the kids, makes sure they still have their bedtime story, um, make sure that they're still fed, clothed, looks after the husband, also has maybe elderly parents that they look after.

11:15 SPEAKER_02: They're basically on the go all the time. That's what I mean by high function. What are some of the things that they can realistically do or not do small steps regularly that will make the biggest difference over time?

11:32 SPEAKER_00: Yeah, as much as you can in your control, right? I would say when it comes to prioritizing sleep, making your sleep environment as conducive to sleep as possible. Cool, dark room, white noise, if you if you can. Again, all things that you can try to control, right? Consistent sleep and wake times. Your body likes a consistent routine. And also, if you have a consistent sleep and wake time, you tell yourself I have to go to bed at 10 p.m. because I need to get my seven or eight hours of sleep. That'll get you in that rhythm.

12:05 SPEAKER_00: Um and then for again, small things, maybe it's that 10-minute walk. I'm gonna do a 10-minute walk in the garden every day or three times a week, and then I'm going to eat breakfast to set myself up for you know the day. And those are those again, you can do that for six weeks, a 10-minute walk, consistent sleep wake time, and consistent breakfast, you're crushing it. Like you've set three goals for yourself, and I think that's amazing. And they're not these huge, crazy life changes. I mean, they're just they can be just small things, but they'll make a huge impact in how you feel.

Control, Boundaries, And Saying No

12:43 SPEAKER_02: Now, if our listeners only remember one thing that we've talked about, what would you hope that would be?

12:54 SPEAKER_00: That it doesn't have to be complicated. You can do, like you said, one small thing and it can make a big impact. And don't feel pressured if you're someone that wants to make a lot of change, don't feel pressure to change everything at once. Let's get those, let's get those wins, let's simplify our life, and that's gonna grow your confidence and uh your belief in yourself.

13:19 SPEAKER_02: Now, um, I always encourage people to advocate for themselves as much as possible. I really do believe in helping, I kind of want to use the word empower people, but I know that can be that can sound quite quite generic. So if I said to you, how can women empower themselves to not only do the things that we're suggesting that they do, those small steps that are gonna make the biggest difference, but if they that if there was one mental thing that they can do that's gonna help empower them, whatever you mean by empowerment, what would you what would you say is?

14:02 SPEAKER_00: You know that you're more in control than you think you are. Uh and that's like and that's why things like those small changes and advocacy and education can make such a big difference. Um, because you can say no and you're allowed to prioritize yourself and you do not have to take on the world.

The 365 Song Movement Challenge

14:21 SPEAKER_02: Now, I'm gonna be very naughty and I'm going to put this in the episode today, and that is I am trying to create a Spotify playlist, and I want to get 365 tune songs, whatever you want to call it, by the 1st of December this year. And I'm gonna ask you, you don't have to share them with me now, but I'm going to ask you to think of two songs or two tunes that when you hit it doesn't matter what you're doing, yeah, you could be at work or you know, tidying up at home or on the way somewhere, as soon as you hear them, you have to move your body.

15:04 SPEAKER_02: You you just have to, okay? Because what I'm trying to do with this playlist is I want to create a playlist that people have no excuse not to move their bodies, you know. Um, I don't know what I'm gonna call the playlist, but that's that's the idea. I've got roughly about, I'd say about 40 tunes already, but I want to get to three, six, five so that there's at least one for every single day of 2027 that people can listen to. So would you be willing to share two two tunes? Like I said, you don't have to tell me now, um, but would you be willing be willing to do to do that?

Closing Takeaways On Noticing Yourself

15:45 SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I will say the first thing my mind went to was the Spice Girls.

15:51 SPEAKER_00: I would I still dance when there's stuff comes on.

15:54 SPEAKER_02: Cool, yeah. I I mean I don't I honestly I don't care what what genre they are or whether they're from uh what decade they're from. I'm just interested in the tunes. So I want to thank you so much for sharing your insights uh with us today. I've been making notes about the stuff that I need to be doing more of, and I really appreciate you sharing your time with us. Tiera, thank you so much.

16:22 SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Cheryl. I appreciate it.

16:24 SPEAKER_02: You know what I particularly liked about this conversation is that it goes beyond hormones, exercise, and sleep. It's really about learning to notice ourselves again, and you know, so many capable women become brilliant at noticing what everyone else needs. Slowly losing the track of their own energy. You know, what tracking help, please, please.