The Work Stress Pattern Hiding in The standard that keeps moving

Welcome And Why Clarity Vanishes

0:20 SPEAKER_01: Hello and welcome to Work Stress Anxiety. I'm Cheryl Paris, clinical hypnotherapist and stress recovery coach, and today I am joined by Hannah Kierman. And in this conversation, we're looking at why it can become so, so difficult to think clearly when stress has taken over the steering wheel. And remember, this is not because you're weak, not because you're failing, not because you simply need to get a grip. Lovely thought, but it's very unhelpful, I think. But Hannah helps us understand what may be happening in the body.

1:01 SPEAKER_01: And why recognising your signals can be the first step to steadiness. Now, if this podcast helps you feel less alone in work stress and anxiety, please follow the show at follow thepodcast.com forward slash work stressanxiety so you don't miss any future conversations. So let's get started. Hello and welcome to work stress anxiety. I'm Cheryl Parris, your host, and I'm so fortunate today. I have a lovely guest with me. I have Hannah. Welcome Hannah.

1:37 SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you.

1:38 SPEAKER_01: Hi, Cheryl. Nice to be here together with you. So one of the things that I was really looking forward to talking to you about, Hannah, is why when people are stressed, especially in the work context, is it that their system feels under threat? I know that may sound, it may sound a bit wacky, me saying that, but I do having experienced burnout myself, I always think to myself, there's a lot of people who blame themselves for not being able to think clearly when they're under s under pressure. And I'm curious, what do you you wish that they understood about what was actually happening to them?

Cortisol And The Tired Thinking Brain

2:19 SPEAKER_00: Well, first of all, I think that you need to understand that your brain and your neurosystem is acting and reacting just as it is supposed to do. There is positive stress. We need to acknowledge that as well. We have different kinds of stress. But the body and the activities within our neurosystem and the hormones that are released and so on, it is the same because that cannot distinguish the difference between bad and good stress. And one of the hormones, I do believe that many of your listeners know this, but it's worth telling it again.

2:55 SPEAKER_00: And that is one of the major hormones that are released when we are in a stress situation, a threatening situation, when we feel scared, when we feel overwhelmed, is cortisol. And the cortisol is released up to the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is the part in the front lobe, so to say. That is, let's call it that is our working memory. The part in the brain that should support you to take good decisions and analyze and things like that. And when you are in a stress situation, you need additional blood flow, blood sugar to that part of the brain.

3:32 SPEAKER_00: Natural, right? Quite easy to understand that. And that is the cortisol, that is the part of the cortisol. So it's releasing this cortisol to support the thinking brain to be able to work even harder. The thing is that when we have this stress and it's all just keep on pumping up to the front lobe and to the prefrontal cortex, eventually that muscle gets tired. Just as when you're running. It's the same thing. You can't go running, you can't even walk for days and days and days without any rest.

4:06 SPEAKER_00: But when you are in a stress situation, and it might also be that you are in a situation where you don't really understand that you are in a stressed situation, that your nervous system, that your body is in attack and it keeps on pumping this cortisol. But the prefrontal cortex, the working machine, will not be able to consume all the cortisol that is pumping up there. That is when we start to feel overwhelmed, dizzy, fatigue, a lot of those things where we we can't control cortisol, the release of the cortisol, but we can't consume it.

4:44 SPEAKER_00: So it's keeps on pumping without consuming it, meaning that it doesn't stay up here in the brain, it goes down in the body as well. In it will affect your immune situation, it will affect your metabolism, it will affect a lot of things in your body, and that is really when it becomes bad for you. So it was a long answer, but I do believe that the first sentence, yes, go back to the first sentence. Your body is acting and reacting just as it is supposed to do. We need to know that.

5:19 SPEAKER_01: Because I know that because me and you are kind of into this, we understand that, but I think a lot of people they think about they think about life in general from an intellectual point of view. If I'm honest, from my own experience and what I've seen, I think that's how most people see life. They try and think their way through life.

5:42 SPEAKER_00: Yes, if you're not thinking without feeling. Yeah, yeah.

5:46 SPEAKER_01: Um, because that's what we're almost told that that's the way that we should be. And I know that I trust my feelings a lot more now, maybe because I'm older, maybe because I'm more experienced in life, but I trust my feelings a lot more now because I know that my feelings have helped me know when I'm in a stressful state, they've helped me know when I'm in danger. You know, even when intellectually I felt fine, my body's been telling me, no, you shouldn't be here, Cheryl, and I've left. So I trust my I do trust my body a lot more.

6:23 SPEAKER_01: Yeah. And I know when people think to themselves, I should know how to do this, but they still can't do it. What do you think is missing from that sentence, Anna?

6:35 SPEAKER_00: I f first of all, I totally agree with you there that that most of us think that we can think our way through our lives. And of course, we should have our intellect and be able to talk to each other and to be able to understand things intellectually. But we also the body stands for more than 95% of everything without us even noticing it at all. And just starting, just as you say, start to pause and feel.

The Clarity Chain Spot Decode Direct

7:04 SPEAKER_00: I have created a method that is called the clarity chain. And within the clarity chain, we are looping, we're going through five different steps. But the the most important part is that in every step we loop, spot the code direct. And the reason why we're doing that is that when we first of all need to learn how to spot. Because just as you say, I do believe that we are going through our school system, everything, and and also as parents, how often do we actually ask our children, how are you feeling?

7:36 SPEAKER_00: Where in your body does this feel for you? We usually what happened? Why did you do like that? You shouldn't think like that. That's usually the questions that we are placing to our kids, right? And to ourselves as well. But really when you start to learn to spot your own signals, just as you say, just take a few seconds. Okay, how is my muscle tension? How's my breathing? Is it shallow or is it deep? How is my voice? Is it speeded? Like we are talking very high and we are talking a lot, you know, like this, or is it actually calm and relaxed?

8:13 SPEAKER_00: And believe me, it's not only you. When you start just talking about this with the way that you are speaking and using your voice, if you start to slow down your voice and deepen the voice a little bit, you will feel more comfortable. You will feel more confident, but the ones listening to you and the ones around you, that will impact them as well. So just this with learning to actually spoke. How is my muscle tension? How is my breathing? How is my voice? That is a good start. And then of course when we have learned to do that, the next part in the loop is the decode part.

8:53 SPEAKER_00: Then you can start to look into patterns as well. Is it that you find yourself a little bit more tense every time you walk into a certain office, into a certain store, meet a certain kind of people? That is when you can start when you see those patterns, then you can also start to decode, okay, how come I always feel a little bit tense every time someone says that word or I smell that smell or I see that flower or whatever it is. Because when you can decode the reasoning behind that, then you can also direct it.

9:30 SPEAKER_00: Then you can say, okay, this is a signal. I have learned to spot the signal. I have also been able to see the pattern around it, and therefore I can decode how come that this impacts me so much, and then I can direct it. And that is where both you and me are talking about this that we can't think ourselves out of stress. We need to feel it. Does that make sense?

Masking Stress And Looking Composed

9:56 SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, because you know, one of the things that I think a lot of people mistake, maybe it's because, you know, us women, we're so used to being the I mean, I know it's not always true, but I'm generalizing here. We're used to being the caregivers. So normally we're the ones who are sp spending the majority of our time looking after the kids. If there's elderly parents, we're most likely we're spending the majority of the time looking after them, and then we're sort of in the middle, you know.

10:25 SPEAKER_01: Most women work now, you know, because of the economics. And I think often what happens is because I mean I I've always been curious about people, even before I got into any of this. Like I used to sit and watch people and watch the way they interact. And like one of the things that I've noticed is that if people are composed, then somehow they think they're okay, you know? So it was really interesting what you just said there, you know, that it's about tonality and what we're feeling in our body.

10:58 SPEAKER_01: But a lot of people mistake the calmness, that perceived calmness that they give out as them being okay because they're not they're not they're not outwardly experiencing the stress, if you know what I mean. They're not putting it out there, they're so good, and this is what I mean when I say high functioning. I don't know what other people mean when they use that word, but I mean when you're high functioning, anxiety and stress, you are so good at masking it, at getting up in the morning, doing all the things that normal people do, going to work, smiling at the right time, saying the right words, and but internally you feel empty, right?

11:42 SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you feel empty and left alone. Because I mean it's like a battery. If you're giving out, you need to be able to receive as well. And where do you receive your energy?

Where You Get Energy Back

11:54 SPEAKER_00: And that is different for all of us. I mean, personally, I get my energy when I'm out in the nature. I also get energy when I am in a big crowd, mingling and meeting a lot of new people. That is where I get energy, while that is an environment that can drain other people. So that is also to learn and feel where do I get my energy from? And give yourself that gift. Because you can't give more than you are getting. It's simple as that. You might be able to do that for 30 years, you might be able to do that for 50 years, you might be able to do that for 70 years, but then you're drained out if you always filled up your cup or filled up your battery in the way that you are giving out and you can live another 30 years.

12:43 SPEAKER_00: Your life is not over at 70. Your life could be over at 100. And that is also why I'm talking about that we can actually save lives. And it might not it might not always be that now I'm coming into totally different things. But what I mean with that is that saving lives is that we can prolong lives.

13:03 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, not only that, I mean I look at my life now and I have so much fun. I genuinely am living a very joyful life. Is this the life that I envisage that I would have had? Certainly not. But what I have found is that, and I'm being totally selfish here in this episode when I say this. When I wake up in the morning, you know, once I realise I'm awake, I'm so glad. I'm so glad that I have another day, and I am not old. I wouldn't consider myself old, but I just feel I just look forward to the next day.

13:42 SPEAKER_01: What today is gonna be like for me. And to me, that's the whole that's the whole point of life. Yes, we have to do things that we don't want to do or rather not do, but that's okay, because it also means that I get to do the stuff that I really want to do, which is things like this, talk to amazing people like you, Hannah. So if I was if I was gonna ask you one more thing before we go, what would your answer be to this?

Shame Impostor Thoughts And Worst Case

14:10 SPEAKER_01: What is the one thing that you can universally say that you have learned from you working with your clients that would be useful to the podcast listeners today?

14:23 SPEAKER_00: One thing. And I do believe that I want to go back to come back to this that it's not about you. I mean, we always believe that everything is on our shoulders and we feel so much shame and guilt. What if they see that I am not as good as they believe that I am? I mean this imposture syndrome, that I can personally say that I'm still struggling with imposture syndrome. And I am aware of that, and I'm aware where it comes from. But really to say you are when you are the authentic you, that is when you are the best version of yourself.

15:05 SPEAKER_00: So so having that in mind and what's the worst thing that can happen? What is the worst thing that can happen in every situation? I mean, it's the things that we are thinking can happen is always worse than the actual outcome. And also, why should we give so much energy and time on things that we are thinking that might happen? Waste of time, waste of energy. Give that energy to yourself, give that energy to your loved loved ones and to the things that makes you grateful in life.

15:42 SPEAKER_01: Hannah, thank you so much for your insights today. Thank you so much for joining me. Thank you, Hannah.

15:49 SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me.

One Small Pause You Can Try

15:51 SPEAKER_01: So, one small step from today's episode is maybe to pause once before you reply, decide or push yourself into the next thing. Maybe just notice three things where your breath is out, where any tension may be setting. Or whether you whether your speed has quietly gone up again. Remember, you don't need to fix your whole life before lunchtime, okay? Small, repeatable moments of noticing can start to change the way you respond to stress. I want to thank Hannah for this conversation. You'll find all her relevant links and resources in the show notes.

16:40 SPEAKER_01: And if you have found this useful, follow the podcast at follow the podcast.com forward slash work stressanxiety. Helps you keep these steady conversations closed.