From Struggles to Strengths: Unleashing the Ten Habits of Blissful Contentment

<p><!--block-->ABGW explores how overcoming obstacles can lead to success and happiness<br><br>&gt;&gt; Cheryl: You. Have you ever faced a challenge so daunting that you felt like giving up was the only option that you had? I know that I felt that way. And what if I told you that the very obstacle, that very obstacle, could be the gateway to your greatest growth and success? Would you be interested? You? Hello, everyone, and welcome to ABGW. Amazing, brilliant, gorgeous, wonderful. I'm Cheryl, your guide today. And today, we're going to be unleashing authentic joy. Ten habits of the blissfully content. Yes, that's right. That's where we're going. But we're not just having another conversation today. We're looking to take the stepping stones that we all need to have more of the life that we love more often than not. So, if you're ready to embrace change and take meaningful steps towards your own trauma recovery, please stay tuned. We have got lots in store for you. But if you're not ready, that's fine too. You might just want to hang around because you might be able to get some of those nuggets. So, for those of us who are sustaining around, let's dive in and discover how we can turn our struggles into strength. This episode of ABGW is brought to you by her guru coaching and hypnotherapy. Exploring the potential within. Her guru provides both physical and mental fitness coaching and hypnotherapy services. You can find out more details by visiting Herguru UK.<br><br><br>Cultivating optimism. Sometimes, you can face challenges in life that seem impossible.<br><br>Cultivating optimism. So, our first stop is the land of optimism. Sometimes, you can face challenges in life that seem impossible. I know I have had many challenges in life, but what I try to do is focus on positive outcomes. So, I will even make a list of creative, positive outcomes, even ones that seem really far-fetched, because I've realized that optimism is such a game changer. And it's not just about seeing the glass half full. Of course, it's not. It's about seeing it full, even when it's tempting to see it as half empty. And optimists not only enjoy a sunnier side of life, that sunnier outlook on life, but they often, if you haven't noticed, enjoy better health, too. And there was a time when I was facing a really challenging time at work. And I know that I was spiralling into worry, and I can't remember what happened, but I remember seeing something, and it's like, it just kind of reset the dial. And I chose to start believing that things would work out, and guess what? They did. It taught me the power of positive thinking and how it was much more useful to me than thinking about the other stuff, about thinking how things weren't going to work out. Now, what I would say is that I don't know the definition of an optimist, but what I do know is that optimists tend to live longer. They tend to have happier minds, which often leads to happier, happier and healthier bodies. And I also know that they're a lot more pragmatic about life. So if being optimistic means that I'm more pragmatic about what I can and can't do, what I can and can't strive for, what is more, possible for me and how the palace of possibilities is within my reach, I am definitely signing up to being an optimist.<br><br><br>Practicing altruism is our next gem, and you already know.<br><br>Practicing altruism. Now, altruism is our next gem, and you already know from your own experiences that helping others has its own rewards. At this time in my life, I'm really proud of the fact that I have been a mentor for several years. I've helped loads of people, more people than I can imagine, and I am now listing not just informal mentoring sessions but informal sessions as well. And I remember this particular charity that I started working for a few years ago, helping younger people and young adults and discovering the joy it's given me and how amazing, truly amazing it has been. The light that I feel within me. I can't even get the words out; I'm just thinking about it now. Just thinking about that warm light that I feel and how amazing it is when I see other people light up the fact that I've helped them to light up their world. And to me, it's a bit like that beautiful cycle of kindness in the film Pay It Forward. The small acts that we give get bigger and bigger and bigger and have such a big impact on our lives in all areas of our lives. And it changes our thinking without even that being the aim. So the smiles I remember receiving when I've helped people and when I see the lights go on in their lives are incredible. Giving to others has just filled my own heart. So I would invite you to pay forward if you haven't seen that film already because I believe that kindness sparks the chain reaction of goodwill. And when we give our time, our, money, our resources, we get that chain reaction of goodness and kindness in our lives. And it's easy to do these things to have the benefits, right?<br><br><br>Next is embracing gratitude. Now, gratitude is, to me, such a simple.<br><br>Next is embracing gratitude. Now, gratitude is such a simple yet powerful habit to me. And I remember starting a few years ago, noting down things that I'm grateful for each morning. And it's been transformational, especially a few years ago when I got glandular fever, and I just found that my whole body, it's like it just became old overnight. And I remember, in particular, my big toe, my right big toe. And I remember waking up in the morning and that period when you realize that you're awake, but you're not quite awake yet, but you definitely know you're not asleep. Just using that period to wiggle that big toe. And I remember how just that very act, that one act of wiggling my big toe and actually moving without hurting and without strain, has just been transformational in me. We just appreciate the now and the wonder that we often overlook in our lives. The very fact that I'm able to move my big toe. So, what am m I talking about here? I'm talking about the fact that we overlook so much that we should be grateful for. Even though I started my journal as a gratitude journal many years ago, and I use my journaling now for all sorts of things that are useful to me, I would invite you to think about writing down just three things that you are grateful for every day, because I know it will make a world of difference. So, embracing gratitude. I know that if you look out in the world today and you look at most people, they're not grateful for their lives. They see that their efforts, or more importantly, things that they have, have come to them purely because of their own selfish actions. But what I'd invite you to do is maybe just switch it around a little bit in your mind, embrace gratitude, and be grateful for what you have. Because many people do not have that. Many people do not have family that they can hold close to them. Many people do not have friends who are loyal and kind to them. And many people do not even have the security of a roof over their heads. So, whatever your situation, even though it may seem precarious at times, be grateful. That's what I would invite you to invite into your life today. Looking forward to something exciting. Oh, my goodness. I have a jar. I have a penny jar that I put stuff in all the time when I've been to the shops, and I've got a few pennies left over because, to me, having something to look forward to is like a beacon of joy. And what I do with my penny jar is put the pennies in it. And then come summertime, when it's starting to get light, both in the morning and the evening, I will start booking shows and concerts and concertos and operas. And I will fill my summer diary, sometimes to the detriment of my health, because I'm so exhausted. But to me, just the thought of having something to look forward to is so cool. I remember my friend who was so worried about the art that she was doing, but I remember how excited she was when she booked her first upcoming art exhibition. And I remember her physically jumping up and down because the anticipation of it was half the fun. So what I would say is having just that, something to look forward to, like having that planned holiday, the anticipation of it, it's almost as joyful as the trip itself.<br><br><br>Having something to look forward to creates a focus creation cycle.<br><br>So whether you're planning a trip to Italy or a lovely Italy, I would like you to share what you are looking forward to doing in the days and weeks ahead. Because I know that when I plan to do anything, it's like falling forward. It's like that feeling of knowing how can I pull it off? When I say falling forward, it's almost like that, focus creation cycle. And you're probably thinking, what is the focus creation cycle? Well, the focus creation cycle is the more you focus on something, the more likely it is to happen. And it almost becomes like a self-fulfilling loop. That's why I think having something to look forward to allows you to put good stuff into that focus cycle. Because the more you focus on it, the more positive things that will happen. And then you'll get more evidence of those things happening. Then, that evidence gets feedback into the loop again. And you just go round, round and around, and everyone thinks you're completely nutty because you're just getting more and more of the things that you're focusing on. And to me, it's much more empowering to put positive stuff in there, stuff that will help you achieve the things you want so that you are happier and content in your life. So, yeah, let's start filling that sausage maker with really positive created stuff that not only helps with the gratitude but also helps us focus on things that we're excited about celebrating your talents.<br><br><br>When people celebrate their strengths, they generally tend to be happier people.<br><br>Now to me, I'm not very good at this. I have to put my hands up. But one of the things I have noticed is that when people celebrate their strength, the things they're really good at, it's almost like unlocking a key in their mind that helps them achieve much more. And they just generally tend to be happier people. I'm just thinking about my mum and her signature lemon tart. Now, she's really good because she actually makes it without butter now for me. But the thing is, when I have that tart, and I see the effort that she has made preparing it, it's like revealing what she's so good at. And when we celebrate our strengths, what we're doing is, like I said, we're creating that focus cycle, focus creation cycle all the more. And we tend then to focus on other things that we're good at. And we're then willing to stretch ourselves beyond what we think capable of. Then, what we do is escape all the negative things that are holding us back so that we have more empowerment and emotional healing. So, let's start celebrating your talents, whatever they are. m and just focus more on doing the kind of things that will give you the joy, that beautiful joy, that warm feeling that's inside when you celebrate what you're good at. Amazing, brilliant, gorgeous, wonderful. Helping women just like you who are unhappy, perhaps even with your supposedly quote-unquote good life. This is a mum-and-daughter duo, not pulling any punches as we explore trauma recovery and ideas for building resilience so you work smarter and definitely not harder to create a transformational life. A life you love more often than not.<br><br><br>It's vital to celebrate our strengths, whatever they are<br><br>So, moving on to celebrating what you're good at. So, to me, it's vital to celebrate our strengths. I mean, I love gardening. I love my allotment. And every time I'm out there with my plants, and I see them growing, I feel a real sense of achievement. Now, I'm not saying that you have to love gardening too. And it's interesting because even though I do love gardening, I'm not very friendly with the bees and other insects. When I'm gardening, I can't even believe I'm a bit in this. When I'm gardening, I have to wear one of those beekeeper's nets because if I hear any kind of noise or bee or wasp, I'm gone. So that's one of the things I do to help me achieve what I achieve on my allotment. So I will invite you to celebrate your strengths, whatever they are. Ask people, what do you think? Ask your friend what you think I'm really good at. And make a note of what people say. Because often you'd be surprised that other people notice what you're good at. Far, far more than you do. So yes, we've covered what I would call happiness habits. We're just getting started here on ABGW. We'll be doing a lot more of these sorts of things in the future. We're exploring these habits on a much more decent, ah, level.<br><br><br>Building resilience involves using past experiences as a resource for the future.<br><br>So, let's move on to what I would call building resilience. Because life is always throwing you curveballs. And I remember a few years ago, it was just after the pandemic. I remember feeling tired and waking up one morning, literally not able to move. I thought I was having a stroke. I mean, I was scared, I'm not going to lie. My partner took me to an e, and they did some tests, but they didn't see that anything was initially wrong. And I remember going to my doctor and my doctor carrying out some blood tests because they don't do that in the hospital now. They sort of packed you up and met you out, and you have to go to your GP, which is what I did. But I remember my doctor doing some blood tests and me finding out I had glandular fever, and it was like, whoa, at ah, my age, glandular fever. And it kind of explained why I was feeling so rotten for such a long time, and I couldn't explain it. So life does throw you curveballs, but to me, it's about basing them head on, acknowledging your strength and using that time to reflect on what's. Reflect on what's happened to you, of course, but also put it in perspective and talk about rising every time we fall stronger and wiser. A bit like in the film The Dark Knight, when Bruce Wayne has those flashbacks to when he fell down the well and was surrounded by bats. And I remember what his dad saying to him as he recalled those situations about what happens when we fall and why it's important that when we fall, we rise. And that's what I would invite you to do. Use everything that ever happened to you in your past as a means of rising. It kind of reminds me of a situation that I had way back when I was eleven. And the experiences that I had at the time made me feel as if I was dumb. And I knew I wasn't dumb. But at eleven years old, you don't have the language or the maturity to articulate your thoughts and feelings. Well, maybe you did, but I didn't. As I recall that situation now, I use that situation as a resource. One of the things I often do when I do hypnotherapy is ask people if I'll sit in the hypnotherapy session myself. I will go back and visit my eleven-year-old Cheryl. We will have a conversation and laugh about that situation. And I will be there with my eleven-year-old self, cracking up about that situation and how it is now a resource to me. Isn't that weird? That's why I love hypnotherapy: You can use anything and everything that you've ever experienced in your life as a resource to move you forward. How incredible is that? We need to have these things that we've experienced as resources rather than chains around our necks or chains around our feet. Using the past as a resource for the future. Setting realistic expectations. So, I admit balancing expectations can be tricky. I often used to aim too high a lot of the time and then feel completely overwhelmed. But one of the things I've learned, and I invite my clients to do, and my friends are, to set achievable goals, and whether that's breaking them down into mini goals, so be it. To me, that's part of the journey, having it smooth and enjoyable rather than overwhelming and hard. And it kind of reminds me of that journey, that heartfelt journey in the pursuit of happiness and ambition. Yet, Will Smith is grounded in the reality of the situation.<br><br><br>Take a moment to relax and think back about anything you've overcome.<br><br>So, I would invite you to reflect on any recent challenges that you've overcome and remind yourself that your resilience is shining through in those things that you have overcome. So take a moment now, if it's safe to do so, where you are, take a moment to relax and think back about anything that you know that you have achieved. Maybe it might be like me doing a half marathon for the first time and just reminding myself just how much strength, both physical, mental, emotional and psychological strength, it took to overcome that thing. And just think of two ways, just two ways that you could use that experience to propel you to your future successes. Fostering forgiveness. Oh boy, here we go. Tough, but such a liberating habit. Imparting that beautiful gift of forgiveness. I mean, a few years ago, I had to forgive a longtime friend, and it felt like releasing a really heavy burden. And the thing is, if I'm honest, I don't even think I realized that until that time just how much I had been carrying around. I think it was kind of distracting me from it. Because to me, when you hold grudges, and you know it yourself, when you hold grudges, it kind of takes a lot of energy, far more energy being angry with someone, resenting them for something, some perceived injury that they've given you than actually just being chilling about it. And I remember just letting go, just allowing more room for peace in my life. And I know that sounds really corny, but forgiveness, that friend that had wronged me all those years ago, I know that holding on to that anger was actually draining me. And when I forgave them, it was more than a lift of my weight, lifted off my shoulders. It was like I'd lost about four pounds in weight. Do you know what I mean? I was lighter on my feet, man, and lighter in my head. I invite you to whoever you know, and you know who I'm talking about, who you feel has hurt you, whether it was an actual hurt or a perceived hurt. I would invite you to forgive them now. And, maybe you feel as if you can't forgive them because sometimes, and I've been there myself, my relationship with my father has been really hard. And I held on to the hurt that I felt for him for years, decades, in fact. But I remember when I saw that he was unwell. and in that moment, it was like I kind of said to myself, Cheryl, is it really worth it? Some people don't even have their fathers. You have your father; you have your mother. Some of your friends don't even have their parents. And you have the opportunity to build a relationship with them, and you're just going to hold on to stuff in the past that doesn't even matter to you. Are you crazy? So, I would invite you to forgive whoever it is that has hurt you, even if you have to write it down. Like, when we were at school, we had to write lines down, and it became a bit boring, but it kind of got the message in. Even if you have to write it down a thousand times, I forgive you. I invite you to do that. Because the thing is, even in the act of forgiving them, of actually physically doing the act of writing down those lines, you will find that you will forgive them. So why not be authentic? Oh, wow. To me, being me is so cool. Because I have learned that being true to yourself, there is nothing, nothing more liberated. I mean, I think of my life in the past as almost like me walking around with a pair of handcuffs on, just trying to get on with life and not actually being able to fulfil what I wanted to fulfil in my mind because I was being changed. I had my hands changed, and I allowed myself to be authentic. I just remember trying to fit in, fit into different groups at work, and fit into groups of friends. I remember this especially now because we have the ability to look back, especially on Facebook. You know, on Facebook, it pops up with, this happened five years ago. This happened ten years ago. You might be able to see videos and photos of those experiences, but I remember seeing a video of me about, like, 15 years ago. I'll definitely show my age now. I remember that moment when I embraced my true self, and everything changed for the better. So, I know that trying to fit into a group wasn't right for me. It was wrong. And I remember, at the time, it felt wrong. But I remember seeing that photo. And when I just decided to be me, I found my tribe, man. I found people drawn towards me, some people whom I had never met before. But I just feel so cool about myself now because I know that they love me for being me now. I'm hoping that you're listening to this episode and that you are drawing stuff from it. Not only from this episode but also from episodes that I've done in the past and, hopefully, episodes that I will do in the future. I hope that you can find at least one thing in each episode that allows you to be more authentic and more who you are. So I invite you to take any nugget, no matter how small, away so that you can be more in love with who you are. Last but not least, living in the present, focusing on the now rather than dwelling in the past or worrying about the future, has brought me such a sense of peace and joy I have never known. I'm trying to use my American accent right now because that's how I think of it. I think of all those evangelists that you see on TV. But that's how I feel, man. When you live in the present, oh, wow. It's just such a release from all the crap that's happened in the past. And, especially now that I'm a bit older and I've become a mom and a grandmother, and I see how my daughter is, and I see how my granddaughter is, and I look at other people who are older than me, and especially the ones that haven't been living in the now. They've been thinking about forgetting about the actions that they're doing, that they've done in the past, that they would catch up to them. It's really interesting. It's really interesting to see so many people that I know who regret their lives, and that is really sad. Now, when I say they regret their lives, what? I mean, they regret what's happened in the past. Guess what? If they're interested in living a more authentic life, I invite them to live in the present because we now have the ability to have that sense of peace, a sense of joy, a sense of empowerment that will not only help us in this present moment but to enjoy the time that we have left. So go ahead, enjoy the present. It's a gift. We've covered a lot today, but I hope you've had a few laughs; maybe you've shed a few tears. But most importantly, I think we've been embracing the incredible power and resilience that resides in all of us. And I would invite you to remember that every challenge that you face is not a dead end. It's just another stepping stone to greater heights. I'm Cheryl, and it's been my absolute pleasure to guide you today on this journey. So I would invite you to keep pushing forward, keep shining bright, and never forget that what lies within you is. Well, actually, it's an unstoppable force. So. Thank you for joining us on our journey exploring this unbelievable, unleashing, authentic joy. The Ten Habits. I hope you've enjoyed this episode, and I hope it's helped you look at ways to create a life that you love more often than not. I'd invite you to share this inspiration with your friends and stay tuned for more empowering content from ABGW if this episode resonated with you in any way. Amazing. Brilliant. Gorgeous. Wonderful. And remember my friends, your resilience is not just a trait; it's a powerful force that helps shape your life. So until the next time, keep remembering to embrace those moments of outrageous, unconscious joy. Bye for now. Bye.</p>